Monday, March 2, 2015

Teaching Children About Intimacy

In my Media, Family and Human Development class today we talked about sex and the media. The topic of pornography was addressed. What exactly is pornography? It is something that it is hard to define because it is so arbitrary. We talked about an alarming study that was done at BYU about pornography where they found that 35% of BYU students had viewed porn in the last month. That shocking number is actually much higher because this study was based on self-report results. They found that LDS people view porn less than the overall population, but when they do, they are much more addicted to it. It is also is found that in our church, the actual act of having sex outside of marriage is viewed as less of a problem or sin than porn. This view seems skewed to me. So what are we to do about this?

Porn is a serious problem. I want to emphasize the fact that I do not agree with anyone viewing porn and I do not support it in any way. I do, on the other hand, think that we need to find a way to emphasize the importance of this sin while not making people feel worthless and embarrassed. Porn is a real addiction that is easy to get sucked into. The best thing we can do is to reach out to the people that are struggling. Gordon B. Hinckley said this about addictions, “Plead with the Lord out of the depths of your soul that He will remove from you the addiction which enslaves you. And may you have the courage to seek the loving guidance of your bishop and, if necessary, the counsel of caring professionals” (Liahona and Ensign, Nov. 2004, 62). Just remember, there is a way back from pornography addictions!

God gave us sex as a gift. It needs to be taught as a sacred beautiful thing that husbands and wives share. It needs to stop being addressed as such an evil, bad thing. It needs to be talked about, and it especially needs to be talked about to the children.

My awesome professor, Dr. Sarah Coyne, taught an elementary school about internet safety. She used the CAN DO acronym to help teach these kids what they should do when they are faced with pornography.

C- close my eyes
A- alert a trusted adult
N- name it when I see it
D- distract myself
O- order my thinking brain to be the boss (not the feeling brain)

The only problem about this is that she wasn’t actually allowed to explain what pornography is. How are these children going to be aware when they are faced with pornography if they don’t even know what pornography is? The scary thing is that most kids these days are exposed to pornography between the ages of 8-11. In these days it is not a matter of if they are exposed, it is a matter of when. I think it is important to create an environment, whether at home, church, or in school, where sex and pornography can be talked about freely without being embarrassed.


The LDS church is trying to tackle the problem of porn and the problem of teaching children about porn and sexual intimacy. BYU professors met with the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles recently to try and explore different options. Below is an article that LDS.org recently came out with. It is filled with helpful ways to teach children about pornography and intimacy. Knowledge is power. It is better to be aware of what is out there and know how to avoid it than to shelter yourself, and others, from the problems of the world.


3 comments:

  1. I loved today's lecture. Thanks for sharing, I'm sure there are tons of people that could benefit from this.

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  2. I agree, today was a great lecture. And I love the CAN DO acronym for helping young children (and even young adults) confront pornography! Such as excellent resource. Thanks for putting all this information together into such a great post.

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  3. Loved this lecture! My roommates and I have talked about this before and how children are ill educated about intimacy and pornography, especially in the church. I loved the CAN DO acronym for helping younger children learn about pornography. You summed up the lecture perfectly! Thanks Sami!

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